It takes a village

Normally I am very chronological and would not do what I am about to do, but I know if I don't write this story down now, I will forget all the details. So, here is a story from today -- more stories from the past few days will be written later. This is probably just an average story, but if I tell it right, I think it has the potential to amuse you. Here we go --

Printing at the VU

or, How I Needed the Help of Seven People to Print One Assignment, but with the Help of Those Seven People, I Got It Printed

Warning: Dialogue is not necessarily true to real life. I have simplified it somewhat.

The situation: I arrive at the VU to print the 11-page lab report that Adam, Chris, and I have slaved over. The report is due at the start of class -- 11:00 --- and I arrive a little after 10:00, so I should be fine. The plan is to go to the computer lab next to our classroom and print the report off. Simple, right? I hadn't actually used the VU printers yet, but how hard can it be?

Enter the computer lab. I see no printers. Huh. This is no time to wander aimlessly around the science building, so I approach guy #1

Me:
Where are the printers?

Guy #1:
The computers are here, but the printer is across the hall.

Got it. I sit down to log in to a computer and...the computer doesn't recognize my password. I try re-typing it, but that's not the problem. Thankfully, the Helpdesk is right across the hall. Time to find guy #2, Helpdesk Worker.

Me:
I cannot log in.

Guy #2, Helpdesk Worker:
Uh, are you a student?

Me:
Yes. Here is my student ID

Guy #2:
You are not a student in the Faculty of Earth and Life sciences.

Me:
???? (Confused because biology is a life science)

Guy #2:
OH! You are registered in the Faculty of Exact Sciences. Their Helpdesk is on the fourth floor.

The lesson I learn from this is that I can only log in to the computers near the faculty that I am registered in (which may not be the faculty I THINK I am registered in). I head up to the fourth floor, and find the correct Helpdesk.

Me:
Hello. I am a student in this faculty. Where can I find a computer?

Guy #3, also Helpdesk Worker:
The computers are on the third floor.

Me:
And the printers?

Guy #3:
You need a chipknip card for those.

Me:
?????

Guy #3:
Get one at the bookstore.

Chipknip cards are all the rage here. They can be loaded up with money and used just about everywhere. In fact, some things like printers accept only chipknip cards as payment. I head to the book store to acquire one. And it is now 10:35!!!

Me:
I would like to buy a chipknip card.

Guy #4, Bookstore employee:
Now where did I put those?

He eventually found them, and I headed back to the science building. I went to the third floor, as the Helpdesk Worker had suggested, and found the correct lab (meaning a Windows lab -- I accidentally wandered into a Linux lab first). I logged on, opened the report, quickly fixed the formatting since the computer was running on Windows '95 or something and messed up the pictures, and the clicked PRINT.

It is now 10:50. And, great, where did my report go?

I stick my head in a room across the hall.

Me:
Where is the printer for the lab over there?

Guy #5:
In the stairwell

I head over to the stairwell and find the printer/copier in use. From what I see the current user doing, I guess that I will never be able to navigate the machine alone.

Me:
Excuse me, I've never used one of these before. Could you help me?

Guy #6:
Of course.

As I watch him follow Dutch commands and press buttons, I KNOW that I would not have been able to navigate the machine alone. Thanks to a miracle, the report prints double-sided and stapled. I try to profusely thank guy #6.

He leaves, and I am left alone as I wait for the printer to charge my brand new chipknip card. It does, I go to take the chipknip card out of the machine, and IT GETS STUCK.

Now what do I do? I bought this card 15 minutes ago, I'm not going to leave it in the printer! But class starts in three minutes, and I have the report in my hand, so should I leave? Ahh!!!

Then guy #7 arrives, and partially out of goodwill, partially because he needs to use the printer, he helps me get the chipknip card unstuck. I thank him too and start off for class, a little disbelieving that it really took THAT many people to help me print something.

And I get to class, report in hand, at 10:59 and 30 seconds. Mission accomplished.

...

I want to go back and print something else at the VU, just so I can have a smoother experience the second time around. But the experience does make me want to say this -- If you have helped, or ever will help, a confused exchange student navigate their way around campus, THANK YOU! We appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts.